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How to Write an Apology Letter

Most apologies are invoices sent to the wrong party: "I'm sorry you felt hurt." A real apology names the act, states the damage in the other person's currency, and pays without asking for a receipt of forgiveness.

How to write it: three rules of restrained prose

  1. Name the act in one plain sentence. No subordinate clauses, no "but." "I left. I didn't call for three weeks."
  2. State what it cost them, in their units: the shifted plans, the explaining to friends, the extra shifts.
  3. Pay something. An action, not an adjective. Then end without asking to be forgiven.

Pick the "apology" mode, put "the person still owed an apology" in the first field, and let the restraint do the rest.

Sample

Sample · Apology

I missed your birthday. I was on a roof in another city, and I knew the time difference.

You waited at the restaurant for fifty minutes. You paid for the bottle.

- - -

There is no version where this was an accident.

The deposit on the apartment you turned down — I have it. Do what you want with it.

Write my apology

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